A quick heads up: I write reflections about films and other media through the lens of relationships and mental health, so spoilers are part of the territory.
The film in today’s post touches on some content that may be upsetting for some folks. Take care.
Have you ever gone through something, and every time you tried to process through it with friends, it felt like you had to pre-edit what you said based on what you thought your friends could handle hearing? Like you had to do a bunch of mental gymnastics to avoid certain details because you weren’t sure how they’d respond?
when the people around you have already decided
A group of people who often understand this experience are the people whose partners have cheated on them, and they’re trying to decide whether to stay in the relationship and work it out. Being the injured partner in a relationship with infidelity brings up a lot of big feelings in other people – people who aren’t involved in the situation. Even though friends and loved ones think they’re being supportive, the injured partner can feel like they have nowhere to turn in order to figure out how they feel about their stressful, upsetting, nuanced circumstances, let alone decide whether to stay. The people who love the wronged partner are just too embroiled in their own reaction to this injustice to set aside their own feelings.
If you can imagine similar circumstances, you can imagine the story of The Drama. If there’s one movie I’ve seen lately that gave me the feeling “whoa, that’s real,” it’s this one. I could see any of the four main characters in this film sitting across from me in my office, processing the drama in which they’ve found themselves, and it brought to mind many past and current clients’ experiences as well. It’s a pretty crazy story – but also, not crazy at all and so deeply relatable in a number of ways.
a stressful situation that feels real
This film takes place in the days leading up to the central couple’s wedding – Emma and Charlie. When they and their best friends – Rachel and Mike – have wine and dinner together one evening, the four of them end up divulging the worst things they’ve ever done. It was supposed to be light-hearted and funny. But when Emma reveals that as a young teen, she planned – but did not go through with – a school shooting, there’s quite a tone shift, unsurprisingly.
In the days after this dinner, Charlie’s stress levels are at a fever pitch. His wedding is quickly approaching, and he just learned acutely troubling information about the person to whom he will soon vow to spend the rest of his days. He has so many questions for Emma. But she’s so uncomfortable and embarrassed that her friends now know something so private that she doesn’t want to focus on it. She wants to move on, but Charlie is stuck ruminating, uncertain what to do.
Since his fiancée doesn’t feel available to talk it through, Charlie goes to Mike and Rachel. Mike suggests that Charlie flee the country, back home to the UK, rather than marry Emma. And Rachel is losing it because her cousin was paralyzed after being shot in a school shooting, so having a thoughtful conversation about why the situation is multi-layered is out of the question. Neither of them can sit with Charlie in how he’s feeling, and both of them have already decided for Charlie that he should leave Emma — a dynamic I wrote about from a different angle in my post on Jupe from Nope, where someone else’s story gets outvoted by everyone else’s reaction to it..
not knowing how you feel, but defending them anyway
Rachel is so distraught by Emma’s past that she decides to RSVP ‘no’ to the wedding, despite being the maid of honor. When Charlie visits Rachel to talk about it, he finds himself embroiled in an argument, forced to defend Emma (“She didn’t actually do anything!” he says), and by extension, forced to defend the decision to marry her, even though it’s not really clear how committed he is to going through with it. That’s the scene when I really felt a bit sick for him and the position he was in.
A trio of disconnected friends, with Charlie receiving none of the emotional support he needs
Charlie becomes outwardly incredibly protective of Emma, but inwardly and at home with her, he’s starting to crack under the immense pressure of not knowing how he feels about her anymore. All of the new information Emma gave him undermines everything he thought he knew about her and reframes all of his memories of her.
the pressure of holding everything in
Without a way to process Emma’s secret and its impact on him, we cycle through stressful scene after stressful scene in Charlie’s head. In one, he imagines that Emma has engaged in a shooting spree at their wedding reception. In others he imagines young Emma, planner of a shooting, replacing adult Emma in a montage of sweet, romantic moments from their life. Young Emma is snuggled up to Charlie against a beautiful sunset. Young Emma is holding a rifle, standing next to Charlie while they take wedding photos.
And the stress doesn’t only play out in his head. One morning he wakes to make them a pot of coffee, and when he looks to their mugs, he sees one with a handgun that reads “Coffee or I’ll shoot.” It immediately goes to the trash. In another scene, Emma goes to their bedroom to ask Charlie a question, forgetting that she’s holding a butcher knife because she has been making breakfast. Charlie’s face is filled with alarm looking at the knife. Such mundane moments that would have gone by unnoticed prior to Emma’s reveal now carry new, confusing meaning.
The banal coffee mug that suddenly feels like an uncertainty crisis for Charlie
I try to put myself in his shoes in these moments, and I honestly have no idea how I would handle it. My first watch of this film, I was on the ride with him, stressed to my core, feeling very deer-in-the-headlights, not knowing what to make of Emma anymore. Nothing in me was regulated enough to think through “What should he actually do?” When I have something challenging I’m carrying, my go-to is always to call my friends or my family, and without those options, I think I’d feel pretty adrift.
there’s no second watch in real life
In reality, there’s no good answer. My second watch of the film, I was much more clear-headed because I knew how the story played out. But there’s no second watch if it’s your actual life, so I have a lot of compassion for people who find themselves in a similar situation. I try not to turn these posts into flashing signs advertising therapy. But this type of problem is one where therapy can help a lot. If Charlie were my client, I still wouldn’t know whether he should go through with the wedding – but that’s ultimately the beauty of it. Charlie didn’t need someone to tell him what to do. He just needed someone to be there with him and say “Wow, this is a crazy situation. How are you doing?” – and then just let it be ok for him to respond however he responded, without judgment and without trying to have a hand in his decision.
Thank you for reading! I’m Trina, and I’m a therapist in Austin, Texas. I write about movies, TV shows, & other media that reflect the kinds of patterns, relationships, and questions my clients are exploring in therapy.
I wrote this post myself, drawing on my own ideas and clinical perspective. I occasionally use AI to help me with things like titles, keywords, and SEO. But the reflections are always mine.
If you’re in Texas and looking for therapy, I’d love to connect and hear more about your story.
