the apartment (1960): a holiday movie that’s honest about pain & hope
Today’s post is a milestone for me. It is my tenth post, and it is also my last post of 2025. If a client were to share this achievement with me, I would say “Amazing!! Kudos!! Great job!!” In an effort at being the kind of therapist who does for myself what I would be supportive of my clients doing for themselves: Yay Trina! You did it! Great job, babe!
trying (& failing) to write a cheery holiday post
I associate achievements with the culmination of intentional struggle, and this tenth post is a true achievement in that sense. I struggled to write it because I wanted to write something seasonal, something full of awe and hope and cheer. I thought I’d come up with the perfect topic: I’d write about the film It’s a Wonderful Life. Because Christmas! But shit yall. Have yall seen this movie lately? It’s a huge bummer, and the happily-ever-after resolution didn’t sit comfortably with me the way it did when I’ve watched it before. In the TV show Friends, Phoebe once refers to it as It’s a Sucky Life, and I’m inclined to agree.
the feel-good stories that didn’t feel genuine
After writing and re-writing this post four times about It’s a Wonderful Life, I thought I’d try another of my Christmas favorites: the original, Natalie Wood version of Miracle on 34th Street. But that one didn’t work out either. Turns out, when you’re trying to write about movies on a relationship and mental health blog, it feels disingenuous to write about stories that are a little too feel-good. The lesson I’ve learned a mere ten posts and four months into this endeavor: writing these posts has changed the way I watched movies. A real-life plot twist for me.
why i landed on the apartment
The movie I’ve landed on–third time’s the charm, hopefully–is the Billy Wilder classic, The Apartment from 1960. This film is one of my all-time favorites, and I knew I wanted to write about it as soon as I settled on my approach to this blog. A significant part of the plot takes place between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Day, so I’ve decided it counts as a holiday movie.
the realness of lightness & darkness
I love The Apartment because it follows a tone-arc that I’m often drawn to. Stories that can move from light-hearted silliness into seriousness have always been fascinating to me. Romeo and Juliet is the first time I ever noticed this kind of shift, and I’ve been drawn to it ever since. But The Apartment successfully moves from silliness to seriousness, then back again to lighthearted, which I think is a feat. It’s also the way real-life works.
a gentle content note about suicide
I want to offer a trigger warning here because the serious tone-shift to which I refer is because of a suicide attempt, and this attempted suicide is a major part of the story. I will refer to the feelings connected with the attempt throughout the post going forward.
At the end of this post I’ll offer some resources related to suicide, but for now, if your life or a loved one’s life is in danger due to suicide, please call 512-472-4357, which is the Integral Care 24/7 mental health crisis line in Austin, Texas or 988, which is a national crisis line.
film synopsis
The Apartment centers around CC Baxter, or Bud as he’s known more familiarly. Bud lives on the Upper West Side in Manhattan, alone in his apartment, and works a desk job at an insurance company. The prime location of his apartment has caught the attention of some of Bud’s more reprehensible colleagues in upper management, so five different men–all married, of course–regularly reserve time at Bud’s place with their one-night-stands and mistresses. In exchange, they help Bud climb the corporate ladder.
Meanwhile, Bud has become smitten with one of the women in the office, Fran. Unbeknownst to Bud, Fran is among the aforementioned mistresses regularly spending time at the apartment with Bud’s boss, Mr Sheldrake, the slimiest of the five men using Bud’s place.
what happens after a suicide attempt?
As I mentioned, the shift in tone in The Apartment is among my reasons for loving this movie. I think it’s the perfect holiday movie to talk about here because it’s a joyful and hope-filled story through and through. But it never ignores the day-to-day heartache that’s part of our human existence, and it never tries to offer an easy solution.
It is Fran who tries to kill herself in Bud’s apartment when she finally realizes Mr Sheldrake has repeatedly deceived her and has no plans to ever leave his wife, despite his many promises to do so. When Bud finds her in his bed having overdosed on sleeping pills, he enlists the help of his neighbor who is a physician. Together they save Fran’s life, and Bud spends much of the next couple of days taking care of her and monitoring whether it looks like she will try again.
real-life coping after a suicide scare
If you’ve never seen It’s a Wonderful Life, its story also involves suicide in that George Bailey, the main character, tries to end his life when it seems like everything has finally, irreparably gone wrong for him. The reason I think The Apartment’s treatment of this subject matter is more realistic is that George magically finds himself all better quite quickly, and the entire town comes to his rescue just in time.
In The Apartment, Fran feels alone and desperate when she makes her decision, and she still feels that way when she wakes up, telling Bud “Oh I’m so ashamed. Why didn’t you just let me die?” When her life is no longer in danger, she still has to go back to the story she was living and pick up the pieces. Surviving her darkest hour didn’t relieve her of her feelings for Mr Sheldrake, and it didn’t make her think that everything was fine.
It’s not unusual for people who unsuccessfully attempt suicide to experience a feeling of euphoria and a new joyous outlook on life soon after their life is secured. But it often doesn’t last. Many times, efforts will still have to be made to change the circumstances that were fertile ground for life-threatening desperation.
goodness after a mental-health crisis
On the other hand, however, Fran’s story is a great reminder that feelings do indeed pass. Within 24 hours of surviving her attempt, Fran and Bud prepare for a Christmas dinner together, replete with candles and homemade spaghetti and meatballs and a decorated Christmas tree in the background. It’s not a quick-fix romantic dinner. The Apartment is not that kind of simplistic movie. It’s two friends who have survived a harrowing experience taking advantage of good company and allowing good feelings to seep in, even though life is still hard.
Fran’s feeling of despair does eventually lift, and joy was able to return.
talking about suicide saves lives
Suicide is a scary topic for most people. I talk about it a lot–I have to because it’s my job. It may surprise you, or perhaps it won’t, that lots of people think about death. Lots of people go through periods where they are scared senseless by a little voice in their head wondering whether things would be easier if they were dead.
Part of my job is letting them know that yes, it is an awful, troubling experience to hear this voice. But it’s also pretty normal. It’s so normal that if I were to escalate to a point of crisis every single time a client shared these feelings, I would be having my clients sent to inpatient care almost every single day.
if you’re worried about someone you love
I share these thoughts because being educated about suicide can feel empowering. Back in 1960, when The Apartment was released, attempting suicide was still considered a criminal offense in New York state. It meant that the Fran and Bud and all of the real-life folks who made an attempt or had a loved one who attempted suicide–they were all forced into a place of secrecy.
If you have a loved one you fear may be considering suicide, ask them about it. Let them talk about it. Don’t let it remain secret. Sometimes just having a safe space to process that kind of darkness can help the feelings dissipate and pass.
If your loved one has a plan, the two of you can talk about how to interrupt the plan and keep them safe. And if the plan seems like it’s going to move forward, call 988 or 911. If you would like more information about how to do a suicide assessment, check out the National Institute of Mental Health’s information about screening questions:
Ask Suicide-Screening Questions Toolkit
Together, we can all take the stigma out of talking about suicide, which helps keep our most vulnerable loved ones safer.
why fran’s story is still a hopeful one
I know this post is not the cheery, holiday post I wanted. But this is a really tough time of year for a lot of people, and I can’t turn away from that. There’s a reason at least two pieces of classic American cinema feature similar subject matter during the holiday season.
And yet I’m not going to end on a bleak note. Lots of people live with deep hurt, every single day. Maybe you’re one of them. It doesn’t mean you can’t live a beautiful story. Even our darkest moments will pass, and there can always be a beautiful spaghetti dinner–or your meal of choice after a really terrible day–with someone who loves you, just around the corner.
a beautiful story with no easy answers
The Apartment is considered a romcom, and, spoiler alert (but I mean, not really): Bud and Fran do indeed end up together. But not until Bud loses his job because he’s no longer willing to be part of his colleague’s misdeeds, and Fran has to open her eyes to the fact that Mr Sheldrake is never going to change. But they end up finding their way to each other. No easy answers, but a beautiful story just the same.
Thanks for closing out this year with me. I look forward to more movies, more connection, more hope in 2026. Cheers.
Thank you for reading! I’m Trina, and I’m a therapist in Texas. I wrote this post myself using my own words and ideas. I used AI to help me optimize titles, headings, keywords, and meta descriptions for SEO purposes. AI also gave me some tips on how to share this post on social media. I will always let you know if/when/how I use AI in my blog posts.
If you’re in Texas and looking for a therapist, give me a shout. I’d love to learn more about you and your story.
