life isn’t a movie: reflections on “the end of the movie” from crazy ex-girlfriend
Today I’m taking a little departure from movies to talk about the TV show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. It’s almost a cheat writing about this show because it’s basically an exploration of relationships and mental health. It covers these issues with unique eloquence, so I’m excited to dig into it with you. This Crazy Ex post will likely be the first of many that I’ll sprinkle in every once in a while.
For those who are unfamiliar with the show, it’s a musical, so I’m going to be writing about one of the songs: “The End of the Movie.” You don’t need to know what’s going on in the show to get the gist of the song, but just a head’s up that it does feature a spoiler as well as glimpses into the lives of a handful of characters.
Just in case you’re curious, here’s a quick rundown of what’s going on in the lead-up to this scene. The main character in Crazy Ex is Rebecca, who is the person walking down the street. The show is about her getting a handle on her mental health, learning to have friends and be a friend, and finding herself outside of romantic relationships. This scene is the point in the show where things have begun to unravel for Rebecca. She’s on a hot streak of making some truly awful decisions, culminating in her sleeping with her ex-boyfriend’s father.
There is a fun little bonus for this particular song: it features a cameo by Josh Groban, who performs the song. It is mostly safe for work, depending on the formality of your workplace, so headphones may be a good decision. I hope you enjoy:
“the end of the movie”: a song about the stories we try to live
Part of the charm of the songs in Crazy Ex is that they are often incredibly on the nose. This song explores the human tendency to look for a clear narrative arc within our own life even though there isn’t one. My favorite line in the song says, “If you saw a movie that was like real life, you’d be like ‘What the hell was that movie about? It was really all over the place.’” I don’t know if you can get more relatable than that.
when life doesn’t have a coherent plot
How do we make sense of the fact that life is chaos, yet also somehow live a story filled with meaning? Even this song, which is critical of our tendency to look for a story where there isn’t one, is an important part of a story. It’s situated at a point in Rebecca’s story that’s a significant turning point in the show — and if she were a real person, it would almost certainly be a significant turning point in her life.
“Because life is a series of revelations that occur over a period of time. It’s not some carefully crafted story. It’s a mess, and we’re all gonna die.”
The song really takes off when Groban sings “Because life is a series of revelations that occur over a period of time. It’s not some carefully crafted story. It’s a mess, and we’re all gonna die.” It’s true, I can’t argue with that. But I’m a human just like everyone else, and I’m constantly trying to connect random events to each other in order to see larger meaning.
In fact, one of the approaches I use with my clients is called narrative therapy which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. It’s an approach to therapy that helps people try to understand the story they are living and make changes based on what they want their story to look like. In some ways it’s a pretty ironic approach considering how much I connect with “The End of the Movie.”
a wrinkle in time, controlling the narrative, & being human
I’m reminded of the Madeleine L’Engle series, the Time Quintet, which famously begins with A Wrinkle in Time and features heroine Meg Murry. In the last book in the series, An Acceptable Time, Meg is in the background as her daughter Polly takes center stage. Full disclosure, I never actually read An Acceptable Time, but I bring it up because of the reason I didn’t: I read a review describing how as an adult, Meg still struggles with self-esteem. When I read that review, it was really hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that Meg, a person I looked up to, still didn’t have her shit figured out when she grew up.
“when we’re able to decide the beginning and end of a story, we get to control how we feel about it”
The L’Engle series feels connected to my takeaways from “The End of the Movie” because when we’re able to decide the beginning and end of a story, we get to control how we feel about it. If I call cut at the end of A Wrinkle in Time, I don’t have to think about the fact that the main character keeps going and lives a real life, a real life where she struggles just like everyone else.
rom-coms, endings, & the illusion of closure
More Crazy Ex spoilers: in Rebecca’s story, there is a moment when she gets together with Josh Chan, the man she spends much of the show chasing. They sing a song together aptly called “We’ll Never Have Problems Again.” My favorite line is when Rebecca sings “I’ve been cynical most of my life and everything’s fallen flat. Now for once the situation’s a lot less nuanced than that.” Here’s the full song:
The wink-nudge to which this song pays homage is the traditional rom-com happily-ever-after storyline. Finally, the couple gets together, so we can all breathe a sigh of relief and say that’s the end. If that were real-life, I wouldn’t even be writing this post because no one would need couples therapists. A lot of shit happens to Rebecca and Josh after they sing their song, not all of it great. I love “The End of the Movie” because it’s a reminder that life just keeps on rolling after the couple finally gets together.
finding meaning in the mess
One of the reasons I love narrative therapy is that it works with what we have. Yes, I still believe it to be true that life is a mess, and we’re all going to die, just as Josh Groban croons. But we are also allowed the creative license to identify chapters where we see fit. It still matters, very much, when two people find each other. And it still matters every time we achieve something that means something to us.
No, life does not make narrative sense. But we are allowed to use our big, beautiful, human brains to forge a narrative and connect the dots that matter to us. It’s a powerful re-frame to get to choose who is a guest star, who is a steady part of the story, where part one of the story ends, and what’s worth celebrating.
Just like the theme of the song around which I’m centering this post, I don’t have a tidy wrap-up to my thoughts. I’m holding chaos and story in each hand, and I’m being curious about how they connect with each other. As I grow older, my fondness for a nuanced story continues to grow, so maybe I need to read the entire Time Quintet. Perhaps that’s my closing thought for today.
thanksgiving on screen
The real reason I was inspired to write this post is because I was trying to think of something Thanksgiving-themed, and there’s a pretty awesome Thanksgiving song in Crazy Ex Girlfriend. It’s called “I Give Good Parent,” and it does not have much to talk about that would be on topic for a mental health blog. If you decide you’d like to watch the video, be forewarned that it is definitely not safe for work, it is v v raunchy, and it is hilarious. Don’t watch it with your family around the Thanksgiving table, you’ll thank me later.
When I think about Thanksgiving on screen, the movie that most springs to mind is Pieces of April. It’s so sweet and so heavy. Lovely piece of cinema. And on the TV screen, pretty much every single Thanksgiving episode of Bob’s Burgers is gold.
If you are someone who celebrates Thanksgiving, I hope it’s a good one. I know this time of year can be tough for a lot of folks, with lots of mixed feelings all around. If you are not celebrating, I hope this time of year gives you what you need.
Thank you for reading! I’m Trina, and I’m a therapist in Texas. I wrote this post myself using my own words and ideas. I used AI to help me optimize titles, headings, keywords, and meta descriptions for SEO purposes. AI also gave me some tips on how to share this post on social media. I will always let you know if/when/how I use AI in my blog posts.
If you’re in Texas and looking for a therapist, give me a shout. I’d love to learn more about you and your story.
